Ask an Ette Bride: Mary Ann!

After altering Mary Ann’s gorgeous lace appliqued dress, we knew we had to feature her in our Ask an Ette Bride series. Thankfully after asking her, she agreed! We love her story and are excited to show off the amazing photos of Mary Ann and her husband by Emma Mullins. See if you can recognize the special locations in Logan Square.

Before the wedding – tell us a little bit of your love story?

I decided to give online dating, which I absolutely hated, one more try.  When I told one of my neighbors, she said, in essence, "You have no idea how bad it is for women our age online."  She was right.  I was 39, and I discovered that many men around my age and older put an age cap on the women they were interested in at 30-35.  After a week or two of seeing many of the men's age restrictions, I complained to two of my friends who suggested I lie about my age; but, I didn't want to date someone who thought I was only "ok" if I was younger.   I did decide, however, that I was going to prove a point, and I started changing my age in my profile every few days to show that the same profile got more hits as a 30 something than a 39 year-old.  During that time, I popped up in my now husband's feed and he emailed me the most charming email.  We both liked old movies, French, our neighborhood's restaurants and cafes (we lived about a 1/2 mile from each other), and cooking.   After emailing for about 2 weeks and right before my subscription ended, we went on a date on Valentine's day to a favorite coffee shop, Gaslight Coffee Roasters.  I remember telling my friends that I had no idea what age he thought I was - as I had been changing my age every few days.  On our 3rd date, when he saw my ID at a restaurant, he called me out on it.  He knew all along that I had been misrepresenting my age because he had googled me!  He thought it was hysterical and couldn't figure out why I would "lie" about my age by only 2 years.  I explained I was "misrepresenting" my age to make a point.  Eventually, I realized that the reason I fell into his feed was only because his upper age limit was 37 (he was 35 at the time).  I felt vindicated; however, he had never edited his profile from the first time he had tried online dating in his mid-late 20's, including the age parameters.  So, if I had not misrepresented my age and he had updated, we would have never met. 

What was the proposal like?

When we decided to get married and have a wedding, we knew what kind of wedding we would like, and we started looking at venues in Logan Square, our home, where we knew we wanted to get married to see what was out there.  We didn't want a long engagement, and we discovered we really had to move on dates to avoid that.  So, we found the place, the catering, the flowers, etc. and skipped the official proposal.  We did have rings made, and an engagement ring for me using diamonds from a necklace that my dad had given my mom.  I didn't really expect a proposal, but he wanted to give one, and it came when I least expected it.  While he was in significant pain from a herniated disc in his neck, on loads of meds, and largely housebound due to his injury, he asked if we could play a game of scrabble, so that he could do something with his mind besides tv.  We started the game, and about mid-way through, he asked if I would get him a seltzer water, with lime squeezed in (so that it would take me some time to make it).  I sat back down, played my turn, and when I went to get new letters out of the bag, I discovered the ring in the bag, and he whipped out one of the scrabble holders that he had taped under the table that had , "MARRY ME" spelled out.  I was in shock.  And, if you can believe it, I had the letters on my holder to form, "I do"!

 Tell us a bit about your wedding! Venue, vibe, favorite detail. 

The space, the flowers, the food, the music, were all what we imagined.  I think my favorite part was actually before the wedding.  After we did our "1st look," we went with our amazing photographer Emma Mullins and one of my brothers (aka the Chauffeur) to some of our favorite places in Logan Square to take pictures.  We went to Gaslight where we had our first date, the monument, and the Logan Square Theater where I wanted a classic 1940's old movie-type photo.  We had so much fun together - it was just us, being us.  

 What is one moment of your big day that will last with you forever?

I think going out and taking pictures together - just the two of us - before the ceremony; a couple who read at our wedding bringing "Winston Churchill's favorite champagne" for us to all have a celebratory drink before the ceremony; and meeting up with our out-of-town friends at the Green Eye afterwards, where the bouncer refused us entry because I didn't have my ID, but I walked past him-- to the cheers of the crowd - I mean, come on, I had a wedding dress on. ;)

What do you wish someone had told you when you first started planning the wedding?

I had been to a lot of weddings, and I got great advice.  But I wish someone would have told me that you don't remember a thing from the night because you're so busy!  I would like to plan the exact same party, but sit around and enjoy this time.

 What were your absolute "must haves" when it came to the wedding?

Good food, good booze, and good music.

Tell us about your gown! 

I loved my dress, and I wish I could wear it again.  I had gained weight in the past few years, and that was on top of already not feeling totally comfortable in my body, I was convinced I wouldn't find a dress that fit that I liked.  I was so pleasantly surprised to find that every shop made it work, that the sales people were so kind, and that I found so many beautiful dresses.  But, the one I chose, was the one that had all the things I was looking for and thought I would never find: the see-through material on the arms and neck, a champagne color, a fitted waist, and tulle. 

What was the biggest surprise to you about the gown purchasing and alterations process?

I loved Ette.  I wish I could come and have everything altered there just to be surrounded by all that kindness, encouragement, and humor.  I walked in feeling insecure, and I left feeling beautiful. 

What was your favorite change we made to the gown?

I didn't need many alterations to my gown, except that it was too big.  But, I knew I didn't want to wear spanx or a crazy undergarment of any sort.  You made it so that I didn't have to buy a crazy corset, some crazy bra, or wear spanx.  You made it fit me.

How did you tame your wedding nerves?

Drinking? Just kidding, sort of. I didn't have too many nerves, actually, more of those normal stressors.

 Any other tips for future brides?

In a way, planning a wedding forces you to figure how you're going to work together for the rest of your life.  By the time we got married, we had been together almost 5 years, including living together.  And, I was surprised when we started planning how much our differences in handling money, conflict, decisions - which we were aware of already - became more apparent.  We had to learn the best way to talk with each other during a stressful time, and I'm glad that we had that experience to figure out the best way to work together when having to make big decisions (or for a pandemic when you're stuck in a small space together).  One of my favorite stories from our planning took place at a cafe, where we had our laptops out and were comparing bids from two florists among other things.  At one point, an older gentleman sitting next to us interrupted, and said, "I have been trying to figure out what sort of business you're starting  . . . and then I heard "guest list" and it all made sense.  Mazel Tov!" 

 Now that you’re a newlywed, any advice for the transition from Ms. To Mrs?

Don't keep saying to your new husband, "This is weird.  It's so weird to be married, isn't it.  It's weird."  Keep that to yourself. ;)